


It's All I've Ever Wanted (And Can't Have)

by Miss_Nightmare



Series: 25 Days of Christmas OTPs [15]
Category: Blessthefall
Genre: Christmas!fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 21:50:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5432054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Nightmare/pseuds/Miss_Nightmare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And there's one friend in particular he cares the most about, but it's not like he's going to tell Matt that."</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's All I've Ever Wanted (And Can't Have)

It's three AM on Christmas Eve and Jared is sitting alone in his house, huddled up in several Cowboys throws and watching Home Alone for the third time in a row. He's on his second bag of chips (he thinks, he can't remember if it's the second or third), and actually having a good time. He looks over at the Christmas tree he had set up every once in a while, smiling at the mere thought of what his friends' reactions are going to be when they open up the gifts he's gotten for them. He's spent a lot of time (and money) this year on them, but it's only because he cares so much.

And there's one friend in particular he cares the most about, but it's not like he's going to tell Matt that. 

He's halfway asleep as he grabs the remote to replay the movie again when someone knocks harshly on his front door, jolting him wide awake and nearly making him scream due to shock. He rolls his eyes at himself, standing up out of his comfortable seat and padding across the wood floor to look out the peephole-  
"It's me, you idiot! Open up!" Matt's voice shouts through the door. He opens it to find him covered in a thin sheet of snow, wearing only a t-shirt and jeans - no jacket. He throws himself inside, kicking the door closed behind himself and running towards the fire that Jared has going in the fireplace.

"Are you, um, going to explain to me what exactly is going on?"

"It's snowing," he says breathlessly, eyes closing in ecstasy because the fire feels so good. "I was shopping - doing the last minute thing, you know, my usual, and um, forgot my coat at home, and then it started snowing, and your house is closer to the mall than mine… And I didn't want to drive home in the weather because it's getting bad…"

"Do you want anything? Coffee? Hot chocolate?" Jared asks, walking over and turning off the TV.

"Jesus, yes, please. Coffee. Well, maybe not - what time is it?"

"Late, I think… It's seven."

"Okay, hot chocolate, but only if you get some too."

Jared looks at him oddly, but complies at his request. He returns from his kitchen with two mugfuls of hot chocolate and mini marshmallows sprinkled on top, handing the nicer mug to Matt and sitting beside him.

"Thank you," Matt tells him before taking a huge drink. "God, that's good."

"Did you, um, get all of your shopping done, I hope?"

"Yeah, bought everything pre-wrapped, too. So when you see yours don't think I wrapped it because I totally didn't. You know how bad I am at that anyways."

"You're not bad at anything," he mumbles underneath his breath before taking another drink out of his mug.  
"What?"

"I, uh, nothing."

They sit in a silence as they finish their drinks, Matt setting his empty cup down first and turning to Jared.

"You know, I don't think it's ever just been me and you at your house," he muses, motioning around the room. Jared thinks about it, and realizes he's right. They're actually rarely alone, usually one of their friends being with them as well. Maybe that's why he feels so nervous right now, sitting so close to him by the fire and not having anyone around to judge what he says or does around him. Maybe it's not such a good thing, considering the crush he has on him.

"No - I don't think it has. We're like, never alone together," he states.

"We should be more often. It's refreshing hanging out with you instead of Beau."

Jared laughs and turns to him -

"What's wrong with Beau?"

"He talks too much!" he exclaims, looking fairly annoyed. "I swear, if his mouth isn't moving, it's most likely because he's eating."

Jared starts laughing and can't stop, putting his arms across his stomach and leaning forward. He doesn't know why it was so funny, but it is - and he knows it's probably true, too. 

"One time he almost choked to death because he tried talking while he was eating a Big Mac," Matt laughs, and Jared can't breathe now - he falls onto the floor and isn't even making a noise - silent laughing was the most he would could do. Matt falls intentionally beside him, and starts to tickle him. 

"Get off! Stop! I'm ticklish! Dammit, Matt!" he exclaims, Matt climbing on top of him, Jared's laughs slightly subsiding due to the feelings he's getting in his lower half with Matt on top. Matt, thankfully, doesn't seem to notice this, still attempting to tickle whatever area he can.

"I know you're ticklish - that's why I'm doing it!" he shouts back, hands going underneath Jared's shirt now. They haven't played around like this in years, the last time probably being even before Jared had realized he had a crush on him, which was more than five years ago. His hands stay on his chest for a moment, and then he starts to let them linger lower and Jared grabs his wrists to stop him-

"You can't go there, dude," he says, but Matt breaks free of the lose grasp Jared has on him.

"I can go where I want," he laughs, fingers brushing across the waistband of Jared's sweatpants, lightly touching and making Jared have to bite his lip so that he doesn't moan aloud. He doesn't think Matt has ever had his hands this close to his crotch, and he's starting to shake just thinking of what could possibly happen - what he wants to happen. Part of him wants so badly for Matt to want him like that, too; for him to just go for it and let it happen. Oh, please, let it happen…

"Tell me if you really want me to stop, because I sure as hell don't want to," Matt mutters underneath his breath, hand finally sliding exactly where Jared wants it, inside the waistband, fingers slowly trailing downward. Jared's breathing hard now, chest heaving with anticipation, with the want, the need for more. He can't believe it's actually happening - that he actually has his hands on him like this. 

He doesn't feel the need to say anything yet, instead making eye contact with Matt and taking in every detail. They've both stopped laughing now, both serious and wanting - and Matt's got a lustful look in his eyes that Jared's only seen at night when he closes his eyes… 

"I want you," Matt mutters, finally putting a hand on the outline of Jared's cock - through the boxers, but it still feels so heavenly and he finally lets himself moan out in pleasure.

"Then take me," he tells him, and then Matt works on getting Jared's bottoms pulled down just enough…

He wraps his lips around his cock and Jared feels as if he might finish right then and there. He bobs his head on it, Jared's hands instinctively going to his hair and he grips it tightly. He feels light and airy - as if he's floating now, his eyes unable to keep focus on what's happening. Matt's moaning around his length, closing his eyes and keeping them shut while he takes him down, further and further… 

"It's all I've ever wanted," he gasps, thrusting his hips forward. Matt gags, he forces himself to stop even though it feels so good, relishing in the way that his mouth feels on him. Please don't let this be the only time… Heart beating faster with every second that goes by, Matt's pulling away but all Jared wants is him to stay - for just one second longer. "Close, so fucking close," he says, and Matt's mouth instantly goes back to his cock, Jared's pulling tight now. So tight in his hair that he knows it has to hurt but the wave of pleasure is surging through him and taking over every sense in his body-

He's not sure why, but he awakes with a strong jolt coursing through him, as if someone had poured a bucket of cold water over his head. He blinks several times, still gasping for air and feeling as though Matt had truly been there. Where was Matt? He looks down and the TV remote is still in his hand, and he's still wrapped tightly in blankets. He looks around the room for any sign of someone's presence, but there is none. He's completely and totally alone as he was before.

Sighing heavily, he turns the movie back on once again and attempts to forget about it, telling himself that it's stupid to get upset about something that is never likely to happen. He falls asleep again, this time dreamless, awaking only when Beau calls saying that he and Matt are heading over for Christmas…

**Author's Note:**

> I ship them so hard it's not even funny okay. And you know what the best part is? They've been friends since the beginning of blessthefall. <333


End file.
